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Funny Source Code Comments

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments
Exception up = new Exception(“Something is really wrong.”);
throw up; //ha ha
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.
// drunk, fix later
// Magic. Do not touch.
return 1; # returns 1
double penetration; // ouch
/////////////////////////////////////// this is a well commented line

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete.
// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.
//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am.
options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!
// I have to find a better job
// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)
} catch (PartInitException pie) {
// Mmm… pie
// John! If you’ll svn remove this once more,
// I’ll shut you, for God’s sake!
// That piece of code is not “something strange”!
try {
catch (SQLException ex) {
// Basically, without saying too much, you’re screwed. Royally and totally.
catch(Exception ex)
//If you thought you were screwed before, boy have I news for you!!!
// Catching exceptions is for communists
// If you’re reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.
// if i ever see this again i’m going to start bringing guns to work
// The magnitude of this hack compares favorably with that of the national debt.
// If this code works, it was written by Paul. If not, I don’t know who wrote it
//You are not expected to understand this
* If you don’t understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
//Abandon all hope yea who enter beyond this point
//Mr. Compiler, please do not read this.
catch (Ex as Exception)
// oh crap, we should do something.
// TODO make this work
// If you delete the credits, I will fucking kill you.
// This is crap code but it’s 3 a.m. and I need to get this working.
// For the sins I am about to commit, may James Gosling forgive me
// Houston, we have a problem
// If I from the future read this I’ll back in time and kill myself.
Оригінал: http://www.javacodegeeks.com/2011/07/funny-source-code-comments.html